What is it? What?

What is it? What?Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

Yesterday.........Yesterday I’m walking from home to the bus stop and seeing as I’m studying to be a journalist, i start to study my surrounding and the people in them. It is 4:00 pm and I’m going to school while school children in uniform are coming home from school. Before i reach the bus stop i meet these four people, two are school children and the other two, well, one of them is definitely a teenager - i can tell from the acne on her facial skin and the silly way in which she giggles - the other might or not be a teenager, her face appears a little more mature, a little more hardened. These two older girls are each holding a child's hand; from that and the way they shepherded the children, I conclude that they are both maids, or as we like to call them in Kenya, "Aunties". This might seem like it took a long time to arrive at but it was a lightning speed mental calculation that took but a fraction, of a fraction, of a second. Just them I think to myself “I am so lucky not to be like them". This then leads to another train of thought. i think how lucky i am that i have a future..... and then it hits me and I wonder.....what future? For all I know, Life ends tomorrow, never or right now! I could live for a year, rich and seemingly happy and poor, miserable and regretful for the next fifty or so years. i could be perfectly healthy till my dying day or i could get cancer or diabetes or i could go blind or i could get smashed in a car accident, or i could fall down some stairs and be paralyzed or I could step on a pebble and just land the wrong way leaving me bedridden. it doesn't matter who i am, and only a little of what i do might actually matter. There seems to be no way to avoid certain happenings, happenings which someone decided to call fate. There seems to be a higher power that controls us and what happens to us no matter what precautions or measures we take. And then I begin to wonder why am I still alive? What keeps me going? Why do I do what I do? The Aunties had something to look forward to, to be thankful for. In spite of the entire negative potential our - their lives have, they still can afford to smile, laugh and make others laugh. There are so many questions i would have liked to ask them. Questions that i will ask YOU!

What drives, what inspires you, why and how?
who, what do you live for? Why do you think you are alive, is this aliveness for real or are we all in one conglomeration of a dream. Where who, what, how do you want to be? Where, who, what, how are you actually? Where, who. what, how do you think you are? Do you think you'll ever get to where you want to be, be who you want to be, how you want to be? What you want to be?

Is it worth it, what you're willing to do to get there? What is this aliveness, this world, this state we who are not dead are in? Can someone please tell me? Does anyone know for sure?