Wednesday, March 05, 2014

Here's to no bras

The two things I love most about Lupita Nyongo - and no, it is not her acting - are her flawless skin and her tiny breasts. Here's why, forget what African men say about flat-chested women, you can get inflatable ones if pleasing a guy who doesn't even take you out once a year or treat you special... ever... is what you want to do. Those tiny breasts are the bestest.

You can have a couple of kids, or three, breastfeed them just fine, and those tetas shrink back. Just like that (I've seen it happen) and you're back to jogging and not wearing a bra under your vest... aaaand just generally not worrying about the jiggle here and a nipple peak there... you know, that kind of thing. I always imagine that small boobs = 1000 times more freedom than anything above a D-cup.

She never has to worry about sagging flaps of skin as she gets older. And when she goes jogging, it's just her muscles glistening with sweat (does she jogging by the way?). No fat-tremors, or birds being scattered out of the trees by the tremendous shakes of your cellulite.

And it's not just Lupita though, is it? It's every tiny woman with an almost flat chest that I look at and think "wow, can we trade?".

The fact that Lupita's gotten so far just as she is, is testament that anyone can do anything. And there have been many who've done the impossible. We just keep forgetting and need to be reminded by people who were nobodies last night, but are being worshipped like gods today.

So, yeah, maybe I'll just stick with what I have and say... My dreams: validated. I want to be a ballerina.

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